The Daughter of Snake and Rabbit

Empathy

2012-02-13T17:46:00.001+08:00

Lele has always came across as a stoic baby but in fact, she is very sensitive. When we hug, and she senses that I’m sad, she would let me burrow my face in her hair and quietly pat me on the back with patience and gentle empathy. Sometimes, the things she says are so deep with innocent wisdom and loving-kindness, I just feel ashamed.

Karate master Lele

2012-02-05T23:02:00.005+08:00

oh, she thought of this by herself

(i only taught her the "i am a karate master" part :)

Lovely daughter

2012-02-01T21:29:00.001+08:00

I had to start work on the second day of the Lunar New Year, so we all trooped over to my mom’s place. That was when Lele had to entertain herself with books, Gib with his iPhone and I locked myself up in the room to read proofs.

Later in the evening…

Lele: Mommy, you cannot finish your homework?

Me: Yes, I can’t finish my homework…

Lele: *touching my arm and looking up at me seriously* Mommy, when I grow taller and taller and taller, I will help you finish your work ok?

Tired after a long day

2012-01-31T14:27:00.001+08:00

Glitter art

2012-01-29T10:36:00.000+08:00

Xmas present from JZ!

Thank you who?

2012-01-27T23:11:00.001+08:00

Lele did something for gib and he said, "you are very good!"
Lele: you never said thank you!
Gib: thank you thank you thank you!
Lele: thank you who?
Gib: thank you lele!

So wonderful to come home after a really hard day's work and hear her say, "mommy!"

Sent from my iPad

Lele

2012-01-25T16:54:00.000+08:00

Entertaining herself while mommy works

2012-01-24T16:28:00.000+08:00

Making an effort this new year

2012-01-24T14:29:00.001+08:00

Even though we have no visitors, Lele is very enthusiastic about redecoration. She made some of the items herself and the home does look more festive.

New clothes

2012-01-22T17:34:00.000+08:00

This year's collection are all from the grandmas!

Growth

2012-01-18T21:08:00.001+08:00

During Gib’s performance for Tzu Chi, my mom excused herself to go to the toilet. When she came back and was climbing up the stairs in the dark, Lele jumped off her seat and ran to her to hold her hand and lead her back to my aisle. My mom and I exchanged a look. This sweet consideration for others did NOT come her parents.

Then the other day, my mom and I were in her living room eating something and complaining to Lele about how spicy it was. She left the table, and my mom and I continued talking without noting where she went. Next thing I knew, she was walking out of the kitchen with two full cups of water for us. She poured the water into the cups herself.

I know that Lele will turn into a difficult and rebellious teenager one day. (In fact, this is evident whenever I try to get her to practice a difficult piano piece.) But I’ll remember these two moments forever and be grateful for her loving and thoughtful nature at age 4.

Question

2012-01-18T20:58:00.001+08:00

Me: Hello baby! What are you doing?

Lele: I am drinking Ribena.

Me: That’s nice! I want some too.

Lele: Then you must come to my porpor’s house and ask her, “Can I have some Ribena please?” Chinese ok?

Me: In Chinese?

Lele: Yes.

Me: How? I don’t know how to ask in Chinese.

Lele: Er… wait. I’ll ask porpor.

Recycling day at pasir ris

2012-01-15T12:24:00.000+08:00

Bugis fountain

2012-01-14T13:59:00.000+08:00

The weekend gib performed

Making lanterns

2012-01-10T18:52:00.000+08:00

Patience

2012-01-02T17:20:00.000+08:00

Lele entertaining herself with CNY songs with a tambourine while I was making lunch. It felt both kinda nice and forlorn at the same time

Lele The Jedi

2011-12-30T22:31:00.001+08:00

In the morning

2011-12-23T15:12:00.001+08:00

Lot's of things u can deduce from this pic

Monkey see. Monkey do

2011-12-23T15:10:00.000+08:00

I am a soldier!

2011-12-21T09:57:00.000+08:00

Shoot the candles!

2011-12-21T09:56:00.000+08:00

The children are so cute! The army knife was used to cut a birthday cake and the gun used to shoot the candles.

Soldier and fireman

2011-12-18T12:22:00.001+08:00

Fulfillment

2011-12-17T20:16:00.000+08:00

I saw this insightful poem on someone's blog.

So sad but so true for too many of us. For all mothers with daughters.

Fulfillment

For this my mother wrapped me warm

And called me home against the storm,

And coaxed my infant nights to quiet,

And gave me roughage in my diet,

And tucked me in my bed at eight,

And clipped my hair, and marked my weight,

And watched me as I sat and stood:

That I might grow to womanhood

To hear a whistle and drop my wits

And break my heart to clattering bits.

-Dorothy Parker

Charsiew Bao

2011-12-14T16:24:00.000+08:00

Gib decided to give Lele a new nickname: Charsiew Bao

It all started like this.
Lele loves charsiew baos. One day…

Gib: Lele, do you know where charsiew baos came from?
Lele: Hmmm? Don’t know.
Gib: From pigs! You are eating pigs!
Lele: *traumatic look* Nooo!
Me: Oi! What did you do that for?

Another day…

Gib: Lele, do you know where charsiew baos came from?
Lele: *pause* From charsiew ruo (meat)!
Gib: Where does charsiew ruo come from?
Lele (she knew where it’s going, and so defiantly): From charsiew
Gib: Where does charsiew come from?
Lele (ignores him): Mommy, look! What’s that? (distraction technique)

So yesterday…

Gib: Lele! You are are charsiew bao!
Lele: *shrieks and runs around laughing* I am not a charsiew bao! I am a baby shark!
Gib: You are a charsiew bao!
Lele (technique 1 – get backup): I am not a charsiew bao! Mommy, I am a baby shark right?
Mom: Yes, of course.
Lele: Mommy says I am a baby shark.
Gib: No! You are a charsiew bao!

Lele (technique 2 – attempts to reason): Daddy I am not a charsiew bao. I have sharp teeth. Like a shark.
Gib: You look like a charsiew bao. You have a pink shirt. Charsiew baos are pink!
Lele (technique 3 – an eye for an eye): Daddy you are da bao hahahaha!
Gib (foiling attempt): Yay! I am da bao! You are charsiew bao! Mommy is siewmai!
Lele: Noooo! *KO’ed*

Lele (technique 3 – attempts to communicate): I don’t like to be charsiew bao. I don’t like you to call me charsiew bao. I don’t like it.
Gib: Your daddy is a da bao right? Da bao’s children are charsiew baos!

Lele (technique 4 – accusation): You are bad! You are very nasty to me. I ask porpor. Porpor, Daddy cannot call me funny funny names right? It’s bad right?
Gib: *ignores*

Lele (technique 5 – threats): Mommy, don’t buy anything for daddy. He is bad to me.
Gib: *shrugs*

Lele (technique 6 – bribery, I taught her this one): Daddy, I give you oranges. You don’t call me charsiew bao anymore.
Gib: Don’t eat lor, charsiew bao

Lele (technique 7 – scold): Daddy, you never listen to me! Why you never listen to me? I am not charsiew bao!
Daddy: I'm listening, charsiew bao!
Lele (technique 7 – descent into anger): Are you crazy? Are you crazy?
Gib: A little bit. *squishing fingers together*
Lele: Huh?!
Me: Don’t say that Lele. That’s rude.
Lele: But my teacher says can say “crazy”.
Me: But you cannot ask someone “Are you crazy?”
Lele: Okay. *to Gib* Crazy, crazy, crazy!
Me: …

Gib: Charsiew bao, you are my charsiew bao! *sings*
Lele (technique 8 – confide in ally): Mommy, I don’t want to be charsiew bao. I don’t want to be eaten… TT

Gib is so stubborn. Lele cannot win against him. Poor Lele...

Whole day of walking

2011-12-12T09:35:00.000+08:00

Still alive!

Busy Weekend

2011-12-11T23:34:00.003+08:00

My fifth uncle and family are visiting Singapore for the first time!

My fifth uncle is one of my favorite uncles. He's nice, funny, unassuming and closest in nature to my grandfather. When Gib and I visited a long time ago, he took us out to a very expensive restaurant and spent hours counselling CH and I. I always remembered it, because he didn't have to.

So he's here with wife and two children. I took Lele to a quick coffee shop breakfast then rushed down to Suntec to meet them. The train journey was one hour but Lele was in very high spirits. Sometimes you have to believe in fate. Lele takes time to warm up to anybody but she let him hold her hand and carry her immediately.

Anyway, the Duck Tours were fully booked. We weren't able to get into a tour till two hours later. So we decided to walk to Esplanade via Marina Square to look at the view. We looked at the view downstairs and on the roof terrace. Then we looked at the art display at the entrance. They were bored. Then we walked back to Marina Square for Mac's. Then we walked back. It was such a non-event.

The Duck Tour actually went okay. We were first in the queue so we all had window seats, which is cool. Lele likes boats. I saw different sides of landmarks that I've not seen before. The tour guide gave some information but I'm not sure I believe him. I think he was lying.

Lele nearly dozed off towards the end. After that we headed towards MBS. We walked all the way from Promenade MRT station down a road, across the Helix Bridge, through The Shoppes to the hotel, then through the whole of the damn hotel to the ticketing counter for the Skypark. They got tickets for the tour for 9pm. So we walked all the way back from the ticketing counter to MBS, to the casino where we sent in the elders.

Omg.. so much walking.

I resolutely led the young ones to High Society for tea because I was so tired. Lele was really very good throughout. Sometimes she complained about being tired and we would take turns to carry her but most of the time, she walked/ran.

After tea, we went to look at a few shops. The highlight is an art gallery where Lele became very excited and I breathed mortal fear that she would knock over a S$20000 sculpture. The works were interesting exposure for her though.

Then we walked to where the wishing well is and took photos with the elephants.The elders found us so we walked back to the food court. Then it was 8 pm and time for Lele and I to go. We said goodbye to the elders who were still waiting for Skypark and walked with Lele all the way to the hotel again to look for Gib who was waiting to pick us up.

I think Gib and my uncle and aunt should meet. They are all from Tzu Chi and so shared the same obsession but it didn't happen.

The next day, Lele and I were woken up at 7 am to go to Tzu Chi recycling point. That took the whole morning. Then I took Lele to piano class. It was a long miserable march through rain and mud. We ate a sandwich. After the piano class, Lele played at a playground. I took my eyes off her for a few minutes to discuss with Gib whether to continue with piano class or to switch to music class, and realized something alarming! Left to her own, Lele took a lot more risks. She climbed up really high. Even Gib was concerned, but he just gave me a talk about training her agility so I let her continue for a while.

Then we went shopping around Hougang Mall. There was free portrait drawing. Gib and Lele had theirs done. There was a lion dance event near our home that I was keen on but Gib insisted that Lele must see Barney at Novena Square so we took three trains down to catch the mascots.

Lele seemed to enjoy herself. As for me, the experience of jostling with other parents was scary and nightmarish and I would not want to repeat it. These parents were crazy. First of all, I saw the queue forming from around 5.30 pm. The show was 7 pm. But... but... it's just Barney! It was the first time we tried something like this so I was very surprised that we had to queue. To be fair, most are rich people and just left their maids there, but still... some people in the queue are real parents with restless children. Then again, I was one of them.

The thing is, if I didn't join the queue, then Lele won't get to see the show at all. Gib wanted us to go to the third floor (second floor had no more standing room), but that made no sense. I travelled 1 hour there not to see Barney from three storeys away! So I queued. Maybe we were all victims of sunken costs.

Some parents kept arguing with the workers there because of this or that issues. And despite repeated pleas from workers for us to move in so that more children can watch the free show, people just refused to budge. There was so much space between the people in front! And throughout the whole show, this super annoying woman in front of Lele and I insisted on blocking everyone's view by holding her hands up throughout the show to videotape the whole thing. She even fanned out her fingers to ensure maximum blockage. She made her children stand too, even though they didn't want to. At one point, she even asked her maid to use a second camera so that she can have two videos of the same thing.

I considered asking her to stop it. But Lele didn't complain, she was in her own wold dancing to the music, and so I can't be bothered. I did spend some time wondering -- what kind of person are you to selfishly impede the enjoyment of others in order to videotape a free show of trite mascots? Then I looked around and realized that there were so many liked-minded people.

Don't these people have access to the Internet? Or maybe they want to put it on the Internet? Why??

Human behavior simply inexplicable.

After that we went to Gib's true motive for making us journey to Novena -- Lingzhi Restaurant. The food and service were indeed superb. Then we had a long journey back home.

It was a really long and packed weekend for us! No wonder I feel grouchy and out of sorts now! Lele on the other hand, is generally a real angel throughout.

Probability

2011-12-02T12:43:00.001+08:00

According to my calculations based on Gib’s formula, the probability of Gib and I picking each other’s name in the secret pal game is …0.00015%.

Presents and siblings

2011-11-29T11:53:00.001+08:00

I bought an early Christmas present for Lele. Lele was happy with the finger puppet set but immediately looked concerned.

“Did you buy a present for porpor?” she asked.

“Not yet.”

She felt bad that she had a present but my mom didn’t.

“You MUST buy a present for porpor, okay?”

Later that night, after playing with her Christmas present, she reassured my mom, “My mommy will buy you a present, porpor. A Christmas present.”

The next day, she reminded me again, “Mommy, remember to buy a present for porpor. We must put all the presents under the tree. Mine also.”

Lele is really a very gentle and kind girl. I’m so proud of her.

Me: Do you want a baby brother or sister?

Lele: No. I don’t want anything.

Me: Why don’t you want a brother or sister, Lele?

She looked down silently.

Me: You want to be my only baby?

Lele: *softly* Yes.

Animal crackers

2011-11-28T10:58:00.002+08:00

Lele and I were eating animal crackers. It was great fun. There are so many stories, songs and rhymes we can do with them.

Tortoise and rabbit crackers – I told her the story of the Tortoise and the Hare.

Elephant cracker – We sang “Elephants and Antelopes”.

Mouse and cat crackers – I told her to story of the Lion and the Mouse.

Duck cracker – We sang “Five Little Ducks”.

Cockerel cracker – We recited the rhyme “Cock-a-doodle-doo!”

Tortoise cracker – I started explaining the differences between tortoises and turtles. Then… the subject turned to pets.

Me: Do you want a tortoise?

Lele: Erm… *looks at me cautiously as she has been rejected before* A chick?

Me: Mmm… maybe not a chick. It’s difficult to keep a chick and it grows into a chicken very fast. Then we will have no space to keep it in our house.

Lele: We cannot keep a lion, right?

Me: Noo… it’s too big! And we cannot keep an elephant!

Lele: An elephant is too big! Our door is too small. The elephant cannot go out.

Me: Correct, and that’s very boring for the elephant. How about fish? You like fish, don’t you?

Lele: You don’t have a fish tank. A fish needs a fish tank.

Me: Yes, they have to live in water, so if we get some fish, we will need a fish tank.

Lele and I looked at each other. I thought about how Gib feels about fish tanks. So we continued eating our crackers.

Lele can stretch

2011-11-25T09:59:00.000+08:00

Lele Superstar

2011-11-14T00:10:00.002+08:00

Lele rehearse

Lele rehearse w me

Lele Oh Singapore

Lele Grand Finale

Lele Pledge

Lele concert

2011-11-13T22:20:00.001+08:00

LeLe with Z.Ong, Z.Lam

Education

2011-11-12T12:53:00.003+08:00

Watching Lele's Childcare Center's presentation slides ...

So much fun. They are doing all the things I would do with her if I were looking after her myself but in a better and more organized way with peer learning to boot. Skills development, life skills, fine motor skills, science, math, flashcards, etc.

I know they are probably not the best but I am still pretty happy with what I saw. Pretty good. They do have a reputation for a strong curriculum.

Basically, I feel thankful that I can afford reasonably decent education for her ...

Lele's Ex

2011-11-12T12:47:00.002+08:00

Won third prize in the lantern making competition by the childcare center. It was the most well-received because it's a really nice one of Angry Birds.

Last night, Lele explained what happened to me.

Lele: Z.Ong is not my boyfriend anymore. Z.Lam is my new boyfriend.

Me: Oh, how come?

Lele: He is too short. Z.Lam and I are so tall.

Me: Okay.

Lele: I like my boyfriend and all my girlfriends.

Me: All your girlfriends?

Lele: All of them are my boyfriends and girlfriends. Boys are boyfriends. Girls are girlfriends.

幸福的臉 (Happy Face)

2011-11-12T09:03:00.000+08:00

Concert dress

2011-11-12T08:33:00.001+08:00

With yellow socks and pink shoes... I should have bought matching shoes but was simply too busy.

Lele: mommy your mattress is out but you never sleep with me.
Me: sorry, lele, mommy was working very late...

Porpor!

2011-11-11T06:37:00.001+08:00

Trees and water

2011-11-11T06:36:00.003+08:00

Sandy creation

2011-11-11T06:36:00.001+08:00

Lele homes

2011-11-05T22:39:00.001+08:00

Ice cream

2011-10-29T18:49:00.000+08:00

A career path for LeLe

2011-10-19T09:24:00.004+08:00

so the world is becoming more complex and competitive

i thought a right way is to just go in another direction:

LeLe just need to train to snag a Golden Tortise.

That seemed very viable in the beginning.

---

Then i realised that it's not so good after all.

because

1. 30%? of ppl end up single

2. 30%? of marriage ends up in divorce

Chance of LeLe succeeding in a (happy/unhappy) marriage

= 70% x 70% = 49%

And pt 1, 2 will only increase in the future.

3. a lot of Golden Tortoise will cheat on their spouse

That sux big time.

---

We have to prepare LeLe to be probably to be single or divorced in the future.

With that in mind. She will need to have to appropriate skill sets.

I'm a bit obsessed with this song ...

2011-10-17T12:42:00.002+08:00

幸福有没有在我身边

怎么一直看不见

幸福有没有在你那边

让我看看他的脸

家里已经找了好多遍

只有温暖的房间

爸爸说幸福就在镜子里

那就是我快乐的脸

老师说如果欲望能够少一点

快乐就会多一些

爱惜地球给我们的资源

随时记在心里面

我用善良礼貌的双眼

发现大家幸福的脸

It makes me want to be a better person… TT

幸福的脸

2011-10-11T12:28:00.000+08:00

Nice song

Lele and recycling

2011-10-10T09:32:00.002+08:00

Sorting paper

Doing sign langugage song

At joe wedding

2011-10-08T17:00:00.001+08:00

Yam seng time

Princess with Car Magnate

Everyone must wear seatbelt

2011-10-08T12:29:00.002+08:00

In pic. (All wearing seatbeats)

LeLe,

SchoolbusSchoolbus

AhemAhem

HugHug

Lele

2011-10-06T11:13:00.000+08:00

Indie Mondrian

2011-10-06T07:28:00.001+08:00

Children are natural abstract art artists?

莲子

2011-10-04T08:43:00.000+08:00

　　"忆梅下西洲，折梅寄江北。单衫杏子红，双翼鸦雏色。
　　西洲在何处?两桨桥头渡。日暮伯劳飞，风吹乌桕树。
　　树下即门前，门中露翠钿。开门郎不至，出门采红莲。
　　采莲南塘秋，莲花过人头。低头弄莲子，莲子青如水。
　　置莲怀袖中，莲心彻底红。忆郎郎不至，仰头望飞鸿。
　　鸿飞满西洲，望郎上青楼。楼高望不见，尽日栏杆头。
　　栏杆十二曲，垂手明如玉。卷帘天自高，海水摇空绿。
　　海水梦悠悠，君愁我亦愁。南风知我意，吹梦到西洲。"

Sunday is playground day

2011-10-03T12:15:00.001+08:00

Kidz Amaze - Safra

Review from Lele (after we slide down a 4 storey slide) :

Daddy, is this place closing ? I want to go home !

LeLe showing the hand sign for Love, Bodhi Leave

Playground with sand. More fun than Kidz Amaze

Taitai

2011-10-02T19:35:00.001+08:00

Only taitais can afford taitai lifestyles. (duh!) I don't just mean money though.

I went to a hair salon today. It was supposed to take only 1.5 hours. I don't know why in the end it took 2.5 hours! I was horrified when i saw the time and gib was angry with me because he was waiting to change shift with me.

Ah, the experience was so nice! But who has 2.5 hours to spare...?

Card tower

2011-10-02T16:34:00.000+08:00

Made while waiting for mommy to wake up

Playing with clay

2011-10-01T17:24:00.000+08:00

Lessons learnt:

1. Planning is essential.
2. Do not fill a whole bowl with water. Just a saucer will do.
3. Do not use paper as mat. Use something waterproof.
4. Line the floor with paper next time.
5. Get the sculpting tools and toothpicks ready before you start.

Here's a coloring page I made from my Disney Read-Along app!

2011-09-27T20:46:00.001+08:00

Prints made by paper plates and a model of our house!

2011-09-25T18:08:00.000+08:00

Paper plates!

2011-09-25T18:06:00.001+08:00

Pretty boys

2011-09-24T22:51:00.001+08:00

For some reason, I started explaining the concept of husband and wife to lele.
"but where is my husband?" she asked.
"you are too young. You will meet him when younger older ok?"
"but I don't know where he is! Will daddy help me find him?"
"no baby you have to find him yourself."
She looked thoughtful.
"I like pretty boys."
"you mean handsome boys?"
"no teacher says pretty boys."

Then we moved to the subject of houses.
"why we have so many houses? Porpor one, nainai one, mommy one. So many!"
"next time you will have your own house too. When you grow up you will buy a new house and move out too."
She looked stunned. "but I cannot carry the house! It is too heavy!"
"huh, are you a snail? You don't carry your home do you?"
"no but I cannot carry!" she insisted. "how to carry a new house?"
Oh, she thought she has to physically carry the house...
I pointed to a construction site. "you can build the house."

National Day

2011-09-23T17:27:00.001+08:00

Late entry about how we spent national day. Gib's parents and their friends. My mom and my brother.

U won't know what hit you!

2011-09-20T21:39:00.000+08:00

I may be dressed like this but I am actually a ninja!

A thumb by any other name

2011-09-19T22:37:00.000+08:00

While waiting for dinner to be served, I tried to amuse Lele by naming her fingers.

"Thumbkin, Pointman, Tallman, Ringman and Pinky!" (This is what her teacher taught her.)

She looked at me perplexed. "Pinky is also Baby Finger, right?"

"Yes. It is also Little Finger and Xiao Niuniu (after a Chinese rhyme)"

She burst out laughing, took my thumb and said cheekily, "This is Orange Pumpkin." And proceeded to give the rest of my fingers other random names like Green Tall Lantern and Egg (?) Open Leg(???).

Precocious

2011-09-19T12:58:00.001+08:00

Lazy saturday morning

2011-09-17T09:01:00.002+08:00

She wants to be on the top of the world.

Indie art by He Le

2011-09-17T08:59:00.000+08:00

No help from me at all! I think it is a town with castle and buildings, grass and trees.

Hello, Baby

2011-09-12T22:52:00.000+08:00

"Hello, baby!"
"Hello, mommy. You eat dinner already?"
"No, mommy's still at work."
"There's no food at porpor's house. Jiu jiu ate everything already. You want to go to the coffee-shop near porpor's house to eat? There is bread there you know."
"I don't want to eat bread."
"Why? The bread is very nice you know. I like the bread"
"Do you want some bread?"
"No. I ate already."

My mom tells me that I have to count my lucky stars that Lele is such a thoughtful girl. She would usually ask me very seriously if I've eaten, and if I haven't, give suggestions about where I should go to find food.

I was so disappointed with her over the weekend for throwing unreasonable tantrums but yet when she tells me things like that, I think she is perfect.

Random Exercise

2011-09-12T11:59:00.002+08:00

Suddenly and randomly, she decided to do an exercise routine at the Shoppes at mbs.

Disney Musical Festival

2011-09-12T11:57:00.001+08:00

Dad had free tickets from a kind client so the whole family (sans Gib) went. We had pretty good seats too. Unfortunately, to my jaded soul, it was a very desperate, boring, cheap and shoddy production reminiscent of secondary school.

Within the first five minutes, I felt that I would rather be checking proofs instead. Yes, it was that bad. "Under the Sea" was performed with a sad lobster and 7 "mermaids". The performance was muffled at some points (I thought I was watching pirated VCDs), then the next moment, the decibels went off the charts and I was deafened. Their idea of cool was to flash bright lights at you (for no rhyme or reason). And they made Mickey out to be a hypocritical bully and Minnie a total bimbo. (Wait... the actual characters might actually be like that, so it might not be the musical's fault after all, but who made Donald a wimp? What happened?)

I lost all patience the moment I saw how they wheeled Aladdin and Jasmine around on a TROLLEY during the magic carpet ride! I could see the legs and wheels! So could all the kids.

So really, it's not worth the money spent at all (even though I didn't spend any). But to the kids, it was okay and Lele even liked it better than The Lion King. She fell asleep halfway through The Lion King, although it was probably our fault for choosing an afternoon matinee before she had her nap. Anyway, this all goes to show that there is really no point giving the children anything expensive. Just have lots of gaudy colors, bad acting and bad script and they would be soooo happy.

Some parts Lele liked were the two interactive games they played. They had a guessing game for the children (that is simple to the point of being insulting, but the kids loved it) and they threw balls at the audience.

I even suspected they planted their people in the audience (should have spent the money dressing up the trolley). There were two male teenagers sitting next to us and they cheered very enthusiastically for Mickey. At first I thought they were being sarcastic/crazy/sexually awkward teens but when they kept it up, I started to feel suspicious. Why would they come to the show? What kind of teenager would have that much energy? They must be getting paid for it.

Anyway, we loitered around the Shoppes. I think I spoiled Lele. I bought her a macaroon for $2.80! $2.80!!! Why are these things so expensive? She gave me a bite though and it was indeed heavenly. The sad part was that then she carefully ate only half and wanted to keep the rest for later. Then we both forgot. And the next day, it looked gross so I threw it away. Give me back my $1.40!!!

I promised to bring my mom for afternoon tea at the Shoppes one of these days. I want her to try the macaroon.

希望我能让你觉得幸福

2011-09-08T00:08:00.001+08:00

「时间无法倒流，过去了就只能永远过去了。

孩子能呆在身边的日子是多麼难得与宝贵。
因为这一点，我更加的珍惜与孩子相处的每一刻，
也让我无论遇到什麼，都心存感恩。

谢谢上天给我这麼一个孩子，让我分享与见证她成长的每一刻。
无论带给我多少困难，烦恼，甚至挫败，
无论让我失去多少睡眠，时间，金钱，精力，我仍然豁达，
因为，这都是上天的恩赐。

当她在身边的每一天，我都会让她觉得幸福，也是让我们都有一个美好的回忆。
我不会给她太多压力，束缚，更不会给她牵绊，阻扰，但是我会适时管教，
也会做量力而行的投资，因为我有责任与义务教会她生活的本领，
好让她来日自由快乐的飞翔。同时，我也会告诉她，就算所有的路都行不通时，
还有一条路你可以畅行，那就是回家的路.」

Lele Birthday Revenge 2011

2011-09-07T17:44:00.001+08:00

The lawn

2011-09-03T21:34:00.000+08:00

The kite festival

2011-09-03T21:33:00.001+08:00

This is very difficult

2011-09-03T21:30:00.000+08:00

The kite festival

2011-09-03T21:29:00.000+08:00

Growing up

2011-08-29T12:40:00.001+08:00

Lele is trying hard to grow up.

She would ask me every day, “Is it October already? Am I four years old?”

When I answered with a no, she would start to count with her fingers, “Last time I’m two years old, now I’m three years old, next time I’ll be four years old, next time I’ll be five years old etc”

So another proof of her wanting to grow up is when she suddenly decided to be Yonghui’s mommy and bossed him around. It was funny when Yonghui’s mom wanted to wash his face and he resisted, she said, “Pretend I am Lele Mommy.”

“When will I be taller than Daddy? When I’m ten years old?”

“I don’t think so…”

“When I’m fourteen years old.”

“Not likely.”

“When I’m sixty?”

I looked at her hopeful face.

“Maybe. Maybe you’d be taller than Daddy then.”

At the traffic light, she said “Mommy, when I am sixty years old, we can make a castle together.”

“Mommy won’t be around when you are sixty years old, you know.” I replied a bit carelessly.

Her face grew very serious and she fell silent. I wondered if what I should say without over-complicating matters. So we crossed the road silently.

Working with daddy

2011-08-27T14:28:00.000+08:00

cool dude

2011-08-23T12:17:00.002+08:00

Hmm. At this point in time.

Lele thinks that her DADDY is the best-est dude around

Dad is the coolest, tallest, most fun and fastest

Feels good to have a devout admirer.

Enjoy the moment while it last.

Kite 2

2011-08-21T19:07:00.001+08:00

For once gib is free and the two of them had some father and daughter bonding time while I potter around the house.

Kite

2011-08-21T19:04:00.000+08:00

Singapop!

2011-08-21T04:40:00.000+08:00

Thanks cang! :)

Dresses!

2011-08-20T18:52:00.000+08:00

At last!

At the library

2011-08-15T07:43:00.001+08:00

Why is she growing up so fast?

Tadah!

2011-08-15T07:42:00.001+08:00

Took three adults and two kids. Couldn't have done it without jz and family!

Movies!

2011-08-15T07:41:00.001+08:00

Finally watched "lost and found". The book is much better.

Rainbow room with colored blocks

2011-08-15T07:40:00.001+08:00

Tempted to paint lele's room like this but it is too much work and too expensive ... :(

Velcro is so useful

2011-08-15T07:38:00.000+08:00

And invented by NASA, said Raymond.

Stickers on white elephants

2011-08-15T07:36:00.000+08:00

Is it two or three, lele?

Fruits!

2011-08-15T07:35:00.000+08:00

A craft project. Too difficult for the children but I think the adults felt a sense of accomplishment.

Railway tracks

2011-08-15T07:31:00.000+08:00

First stop at SAM. It was a huge empty room with restrictions on numbers so you can be as ambitious as you want. lele had never played with tracks and battery-operated trains before so she had a blast. The art is railway tracks on the walls and ceilings.

Recycling day

2011-08-14T14:06:00.000+08:00

How Many Hours a Day Should You Practice?

2011-08-10T23:00:00.001+08:00

How Many Hours a Day Should You Practice?

by DR. NOA KAGEYAMA

2 hours? 4 hours? 8 hours? 12 hours?

How much is enough?

Is there such a thing as practicing too much?

Is there an optimal number of hours that one should practice?

What Do Performers Say?

Some of the great artists of the 20th century have shared their thoughts on these questions. I once read an interview with Rubinstein (or it may have been Horowitz – I can’t remember exactly whom), in which he stated that nobody should have to practice more than four hours a day, explaining that if you needed to practice more than four hours a day, you probably weren’t doing it right.

Other great artists have expressed similar sentiments. Violinist Nathan Milstein is said to have once asked his teacher Leopold Auer how many hours a day he should be practicing. “If you practice with your fingers, no amount is enough,” was Auer’s response. “If you practice with your head, two hours is plenty.”

Heifetz also indicated that he never believed in practicing too much, and that excessive practice is “just as bad as practicing too little!” He claimed that he practiced no more than three hours per day on average, and that he didn’t practice at all on Sundays. You know, this is not a bad idea – one of my own teachers, Donald Weilerstein, once suggested that I establish a 24-hour period of time every week where I was not allowed to pick up my instrument.

What Do Psychologists Say?

When it comes to understanding expertise and expert performance, psychologist Dr. K. Anders Ericsson is perhaps the world’s leading authority. His research is the basis for the “ten-year rule” and “10,000-hour rule” which suggest that it requires at least ten years and/or 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to achieve an expert level of performance in any given domain – and in the case of musicians, often closer to 25 years in order to attain an elite international level. Note that the real key here is not the amount of practice required but the type of practice required to attain an expert level of performance. In other words, just practicing any old way doesn’t cut it.

Mindless Practice

Have you ever listened to someone practice? Have you ever listened to yourself practice, for that matter? Tape yourself practicing for an hour, take a walk through the practice room area at school and eavesdrop on your fellow students, or ask your students to pretend they are at home and watch them practice during a lesson. What do you notice?

You’ll notice that the majority of folks practice rather mindlessly, either engaging in mere repetition (“practice this passage 10 times” or “practice this piece for 30 minutes”) or practicing on autopilot (that’s when we play through the piece until we hear something we don’t like, stop, repeat the passage again until it sounds better, and resume playing through the piece until we hear the next thing we aren’t satisfied with, at which point we begin this whole process over again).

There are three major problems with the mindless method of practicing.

1. It is a waste of time

Why? For one, very little productive learning takes place when we practice this way. This is how we can practice a piece for hours, days, or weeks, and still not feel that we’ve improved all that much. Even worse, you are actually digging yourself a hole by practicing this way, because what this model of practicing does do is strengthen undesirable habits and errors, literally making it more likely that you will screw up more consistently in the future. This makes it more difficult to correct these habits in the future – so you are actually adding to the amount of future practice time you will need in order to eliminate these bad habits and tendencies. I once worked with a saxophone professor who was fond of reminding his students that “Practice doesn’t make perfect, practice makes permanent.”

2. It makes you less confident

In addition, practicing this way actually hurts your confidence, as there is a part of you that realizes you don’t really know how to consistently produce the results you are looking for. Even if you establish a fairly high success rate in the most difficult passages via mindless practice, and find that you can nail it 3 or 4 out of every 5 attempts, your confidence won’t grow much from this. Real on-stage confidence comes from (a) being able to nail it 10 out of 10 tries, (b) knowing that this isn’t a coincidence but that you can do it the correct way on demand, because most importantly (c) you know precisely why you nail it or miss it – i.e. you know exactly what you need to do from a technique standpoint in order to play the passage perfectly every time.

You may not be able to play it perfectly every time at first, but this is what repetition is for – to reinforce the correct habits until they are stronger than the bad habits. It’s a little like trying to grow a nice looking lawn. Instead of fighting a never-ending battle against the weeds, your time is better spent trying to cultivate the grass so that over time the grass crowds out the weeds.

And here’s the biggie. We tend to practice unconsciously, and then end up trying to perform consciously – not a great formula for success. Recall from this article that you have a tendency to shift over into hyper-analytical left brain mode when you walk out on stage. Well, if you have done most of your practicing unconsciously, you really don’t know how to play your piece perfectly on demand. When your brain suddenly goes into full-conscious mode, you end up freaking out, because you don’t know what instructions to give your brain.

3. It is tedious and boring

Practicing mindlessly is a chore. Music may be one of the only skill-based activities where practice goals are measured in units of time. We’ve all had teachers who tell us to go home and practice a certain passage x number of times, or to practice x number of hours, right? What we really need are more specific outcome goals – such as, practice this passage until it sounds like _____, or practice this passage until you can figure out how to make it sound like _____.

After all, it doesn’t really matter how much time we spend practicing something – only that we know how to produce the results we want, and can do so consistently, on demand.

Deliberate Practice

So what is deliberate, or mindful practice? Deliberate practice is a systematic and highly structured activity, which is, for lack of a better word, scientific. Instead of mindless trial and error, it is an active and thoughtful process of experimentation with clear goals andhypotheses. Violinist Paul Kantor once said that the practice room should be like a laboratory, where one can freely tinker with different ideas, both musical and technical, to see what combination of ingredients produces the result you are looking for.

Deliberate practice is often slow, and involves repetition of small and very specific sections of your repertoire instead of just playing through (e.g. working on just the opening note of your solo to make sure that it “speaks” exactly the way you want, instead of playing the entire opening phrase).

Deliberate practice involves monitoring one’s performance (in real-time, but also via recordings), continually looking for new ways to improve. This means really listening to what happens, so that you can tell yourself exactly what went wrong. For instance, was the first note note sharp? Flat? Too loud? Too soft? Too harsh? Too short? Too long?

Let’s say that the note was too sharp and too long with not enough of an attack to begin the note. Well, how sharp was it? A little? A lot? How much longer was the note than you wanted it to be? How much more of an attack did you want?

Ok, the note was a little sharp, just a hair too long, and required a much clearer attack in order to be consistent with the marked articulation and dynamics. So, why was the note sharp? What did you do? What do you need to do to make sure the note is perfectly in tune every time? How do you ensure that the length is just as you want it to be, and how do you get a consistently clean and clear attack to begin the note so it begins in the right character?

Now, let’s imagine you recorded all of this and could listen to how this last attempt sounded. Does that combination of ingredients give you the desired result? In other words, does that combination of ingredients convey the mood or character you want to communicate to the listener as effectively as you thought it would?

Few musicians take the time to stop, analyze what went wrong, why it happened, and how they can correct the error permanently.

How Many Hours a Day Should I Practice?

You will find that deliberate practice is very draining, given the tremendous amount of energy required to keep one’s full attentional resources on the task at hand. Practicing more than one hour at a time is likely to be unproductive and in all honesty, probably not even mentally or emotionally possible. Even the most dedicated individuals will find it difficult to practice more than four hours a day.

Studies have varied the length of daily practice from 1 hour to 8 hours, and the results suggest that there is often little benefit from practicing more than 4 hours per day, and that gains actually begin to decline after the 2-hour mark. The key is to keep tabs on the level of concentration you are able to sustain.

5 Keys For More Effective Practice

1. Duration
Keep practice sessions limited to a duration that allows you to stay focused. This may be as short as 10-20 minutes for younger students, and as long as 45-60 minutes for older individuals.

2. Timing
Keep track of times during the day when you tend to have the most energy. This may be first thing in the morning, or right before lunch, etc. Try to do your practicing during these naturally productive periods as these are the times at which you will be able to focus and think most clearly.

3. Goals
Try using a practice notebook. Keep track of your practice goals and what you discover during your practice sessions. The key to getting into the “zone” when practicing is to be constantly striving to have clarity of intention. In other words, to have a clear idea of the sound you want to produce, or particular phrasing you’d like to try, or specific articulation, intonation, etc. that you’d like to be able to execute consistently.

When you figure something out, write it down. As I practiced more mindfully, I began learning so much during practice sessions that if I didn’t write everything down, I’d forget.

4. Smarter, not harder
Sometimes if a particular passage is not coming out the way we want it to, it just means we need to practice more. There are also times, however, when we don’t need to practice harder, but need an altogether different strategy or technique.

I remember struggling with the left-hand pizzicato variation in Paganini’s 24th Caprice. I was getting frustrated and kept trying harder and harder to make the notes speak, but all I got was sore fingers, a couple of which actually started to bleed. I realized that there had to be a smarter, more effective way to accomplish my goal.

Instead of stubbornly keeping at a strategy or technique that wasn’t working for me, I forced myself to stop practicing this section altogether. I tried to brainstorm different solutions to the problem for a day or so, and wrote down ideas to try as they occurred to me. When I felt that I came up with some promising solutions, I just started experimenting. I eventually came up with a solution that I worked on over the next week or so, and when I played the caprice for my teacher, he actually asked me how I made the notes speak so clearly!

5. Problem-solving model
Consider this 6-step general problem-solving model summarized below (adapted from variousproblem solving processes online).

Define the problem (what do I want this note/phrase to sound like?)
Analyze the problem (what is causing it to sound like this?)
Identify potential solutions (what can I tweak to make it sound more like I want?)
Test the potential solutions to select the most effective one (what tweaks seem to work best?)
Implement the best solution (make these changes permanent)
Monitor implementation (do these changes continue to produce the results I’m looking for?)

Or simpler yet, check out this model from Daniel Coyle’s book The Talent Code.

Pick a target
Reach for it
Evaluate the gap between the target and the reach
Return to step one

It doesn’t matter if we are talking about perfecting technique, or experimenting with different musical ideas. Any model which encourages smarter, more systematic, active thought, and clearly articulated goals will help cut down on wasted, ineffective practice time.

After all, who wants to spend all day in the practice room? Get in, get stuff done, and get out!

UPDATE: Think all of this only relates to classical music? Jazz aficionados, check out this article on practicing written by acclaimed jazz violinist Christian Howes for a helpful perspective and tips on practicing in jazz. Funnily enough, we were in Suzuki together back in Columbus, OH as kids!

Happiness is...

2011-08-10T16:33:00.002+08:00

When I smile at you, you smile back with bright happy eyes.

When you ask if I’ve eaten my dinner every time I call.

When you ask me if I’m coming to you with anticipation in your voice.

When you kiss me suddenly.

When you look me intently in the eyes with trust and love.

When you fall asleep in my arms.

May I never let you down.

At age three, Lele’s love is sometimes so unconditional, it hurts.

合気道

2011-08-07T09:34:00.001+08:00

Forever Fever

2011-08-05T13:35:00.001+08:00

Mamma Mia!

2011-08-05T13:32:00.001+08:00

At 3 years ''Mommy I love you."

At 10 years ''Mom whatever."

At 16 years "My mom is so annoying."

At 18 years "I'm leaving this house."

At 25 years ''Mom, you were right''.

At 30 years ''I want to go to Mom's house."

At 50 years ''I don't want to lose my mom."

At 70 years "I would give up everything to have my mom here with me."

No expectations

2011-08-04T00:13:00.001+08:00

Question: How can we use the wisdom of the Bodhisattva to educate our children?

Dharma Master Cheng Yen replied:
Do not impose a sense of gains and losses onto the children. Parents and children are deeply connected, and it is easy for a parent’s love to become over-protective. This translates into undue pressure that children may not be able to handle. They tend to become rebellious and reluctant to listen to their parents in the end.

When it comes to educating your children, do not impose your own expectations and requirements. You should inspire them without setting any expectations. The heart of a Bodhisattva teaches us to desire nothing in return, and this makes the other party happy and subconsciously inspired.

Visiting a Polyclinic (It's a boring entry. But I treasured my time w Lele, that's why I'm recording it)

2011-08-02T22:17:00.001+08:00

Lele has been complaining about pain and discomfort around her hip and leg for a while and when the complaints didn't subside but worsened over weeks, affected her sleep cycle, affected her movements and had her teachers concerned, we feel quite alarmed, so we trooped off to the polyclinic today.

The process of visiting a polyclinic

1. Go at 7.30 am to beat the queue.

We had to go to a waiting area where there were like 20 people ahead of us and only two counter staff (they were efficient though). We tried to amuse Lele by asking her to keep track of the number on display. When we were two numbers away, I asked Lele excitedly, "How many more before it's our turn?"

Lele immediately swung her head round and started counting the people all around us. "Nineteen" she announced.

Hahahaha! It's fairly logical.

2. The first queue is actually for us to get the second queue number so we went to the real waiting area to wait again.

Lele: "I don't want an injection."
Me: "No injection."
Porpor: "I'll give YOU an injection!" *tickles*

It was a very boring waiting room so I pointed out the fire extinguisher to Lele.

Me: Look! What is that?
Lele: A fire engine.
Me: Close. It's a fire extinguisher! [Blah blah blah... insert lengthy explanation]
Lele: We should call the fireman mah.

Me: Do you want to be a doctor when you grow up?
Lele: No.
Me: Nurse?
Lele: No.
Me: Policeman?
Lele: No.
Me: Fireman?
Lele: No.

Me: Teacher?

Lele: No.
Me: Uh... a businessman like Daddy?
Lele: *pause* No. *I know she doesn't know what dodgy things her father does*
Me: An editor like Mommy?
Lele: Like mommy?
Me: Yes, mommy is an editor. Sometimes mommy writes too.
Lele: Okay!
Me: *reeling... what have I done?!!!!!!!* But an editor doesn't earn any money and it's very stressful and you have to work long hours....
Lele: *looks at me*
Me: How about a taxi-driver like gonggong and yehyeh?
Lele: *mildly interested* But I don't know how to drive.
Me: You can learn when you grow up.
Lele: Ask daddy to teach me?
Me: Yes!
Lele: Okay!

Anything but my footsteps.

3. The doctor sent Lele to radiation room. Another queue.

Me: *desperately* Hey look! X-ray! You know, it's in your ABC book! We are going to take a photo of your bones!
Lele: Oh. My ABC book. *nods approvingly*

I must be the most enthusiastic mother about her child taking an X-ray ever... In fact, I feel like one of the aides for Kim Jong Il's factory tours. Haha!

The nurse left both of us in the X-ray room. I pointed the equipment out to Lele so I think it was educational. Lele was mildly interested in the photo of her bones.

4. It takes an hour to process the X-rays.

More waiting.

I decided to amuse Lele by playing scissors, paper, stone with her. It was fun!
Then we played the 酒店 game but I forgot the words and we were a mess.

The doctor found the X-ray normal but suggested sending Lele to see a specialist. So we got the reference letter.

5. Another queue to get medicine

Lele: Why we must queue, mommy?
Me: Well, how would you feel if you came first but another person gets to see the doctor first? [blah blah blah] *pause, fearing that I am raising an automaton* But in some countries, you don't have to queue.
Lele: *shrug*

Lele: What is that word?
Me: "Pharmacist's Advice"
Lele: Pharmacist? What pharmacist?
Me: *fired up since this is another educational opportunity* Pharmacists get the medicine for you. Well, sometimes, nurses get the medicine instead. It depends [blah blah blah]. *noticed a lady smiling at me and laughed awkwardly*

6. Payment (Yes! Another queue)

Lele finally decided to act her age (instead of some communist leader) and made a lot of noise when I called Gib, "I WANT TO TALK TO DADDY I WANT TO TALK TO DADDY!"
Then she acted all demure when I gave her the phone, "Daddy, are you coming?"

7. Then what?
We tried to figure out what to do about Lele. TCM? Specialist?

Me: But she doesn't complain to me.
Porpor: Don't you know that she has a high threshold for pain? She doesn't complain to you but she does to me and just look at how she is moving!
Me: *nod*
Gib: Change her shoes? Make her lose weight? Make her do more exercise! Then things will right themselves.
Porpor: No! No strenuous activity from now on. No climbing. She can't even climb the overhead bridge nowadays. Maybe I should bring her to school in a pram.
Me: Absolutely not! Think about the impact on her psychologically.
Porpor: Okay, that may be a bit extreme.
Me: Okay, we go to both TCM and the bone specialist. Mom, you need to stop letting her overhear you going hysterical about her leg and asking her about it every minute. She is very impressionable.
Porpor: I am completely justified in my concerns! [blah blah blah]
Me: Okay, okay. Just don't over-react in front of her.
Gib: We bring her to Ikea this weekend.
Me: I don't think that is the solution...
Porpor: *disgusted*

Play

2011-07-30T14:55:00.001+08:00

I was very skeptical about playing as a learning process. Play in itself is fine. All children should play to have fun, to relax, to have a happy childhood. Playing with other children improves social skills.

But when it comes to playing to learn, I wonder. It is so much more efficient to be taught than to stumble around wasting time.

Today lele played in the pool by herself for the first time. Previously I have always been with her. And I watch her laugh, sing and explore what she can do with the float by herself. I was wrong. She thought of things like using the float as a basket, she did freestyle kicking, and generally had a pretty good time slowly exploring her balance in water. When I am in the water with her, she tends to use me as a clutch.

I have been plagued by self-doubts recently. Am I a control freak? Am I hard to get along with? Am I an egomaniac?

And what if I am? This is me. What can I do about it? Is self-loathing going to solve anything? If I cannot change anything, then can I live with myself?

Wordpress...

2011-07-25T21:29:00.000+08:00

I feel like closing this blog and switching to wordpress. Wordpress has an on swipe theme that is super cool. I was gobsmacked when I saw it on jz's blog...

Gib: 咳，女孩子就是这样肤浅的啦。

Today's craft: paper dolls!

2011-07-24T10:23:00.001+08:00

I found a paper doll printable on the web. Lele named her doll... "ahem"...

Champion gymnast's downfall shocks China

2011-07-19T17:19:00.001+08:00

A champion gymnast forced to turn to begging after injury ended his career prematurely has become a media sensation in China after a fan recognised him eking out a living on the streets of Beijing.

Champion gymnast's downfall shocks China

A champion gymnast forced to turn to begging after injury ended his career prematurely has become a media sensation in China after a fan recognised him eking out a living on the streets of Beijing.

Zhang Shangwu's case throws the spotlight on the plight of top athletes in China, who are taken from their homes as young as five to be trained in special schools, then struggle to adjust to normal life once their careers are over.

The 27-year-old said he had been inundated with requests for interviews and offered jobs by well-wishers, including one of China's richest men, after his spectacular fall from grace was made public and splashed across newspapers.

"In China, there are many athletes who have experienced the same thing as me, so I'm one of the lucky ones as the media and society uncovered my plight," he told AFP in a telephone interview.

Zhang said he won two gold medals at the 2001 Universiade, an international sports event for university athletes that took place in Beijing, but a year later sustained a tendon injury which brought his promising career to an end.

With little education, he took jobs as a waiter and a care worker, but his injuries hampered his ability to work and he was eventually forced to turn to theft, spending nearly five years in jail before being released in April.

Then last week his luck changed when he was recognised performing stunts on the street for money, and his story has now been picked up by dozens of media outlets.

Billionaire recycling magnate Chen Guangbiao even offered to give him a job, although Zhang said he was too busy with media interviews to think about what he would do next.

Authorities in the northern province of Hebei, where Zhang is from, refused to comment when contacted by AFP, but his story has captured the public imagination and raised questions about the state's duties to former athletes.

Weightlifter Cai Li, a gold medalist at the 1990 Asian Games who could only find work as a security guard after he retired, died in 2003 from causes related to years of hard training.

And national champion weightlifter Zou Chunlan was a bathroom attendant for years after she retired because she was unable to get a better job. A local women's group eventually helped her get her own laundry shop.

"Should there not be people responsible for someone who leaves his parents when he is five years old and lives a life of physical and mental exhaustion, as if he were in prison?" said one user of the Twitter-like Weibo service.